Seven years

According to researchers, the body replaces itself with a largely new set of cells every seven years to 10 years, and some of our most important parts are revamped even more rapidly.
[sources: Stanford University, Northrup].

Random thoughts about the now…

While a lot of us are physically different from normal cell replenishment, some pieces still remain.

Last night was my seven year wedding anniversary and to celebrate, my wife went on a date with another man.

I was okay.

Normally I would be sad, express how it’s not good for our reconciliation process, and let it hurt me. Of the many dates, I think this was the first one I was at peace with.

It’s something I’ll never understand. But that’s okay.

I was that guy in that situation, and karma got me.

I am a completely different person than I was when I got married. She is a completely different person since we got married.

The past two years have been a process of accepting the loss of what was, combined with the David Addison and Maddie Hayes type on again off again will we or won’t we roller coaster ride.

The ride is over. It was fun, but it’s someone else’s turn to get on.

I have never really been able to pick myself up. Maybe a day here or there, but not with any lasting effect. Whenever I was good with being apart, I was given an opportunity to reconcile. It was really only a way to delay the inevitable.

Last night I looked around and found I was standing. I don’t know when or how it happened. Nevertheless, I was on my feet and I wasn’t letting others actions bother me.

It’s sad, but “It is what it is.” – Juan

I had an amazing time with Serenity last night. We played Wii and watched the new Power Rangers movie. We made as close as we could to Movie popcorn and had soda. It was just a fun night. Thoughts of what was happening elsewhere were fleeting at most. Serenity is my one thing.

My job is doing well, I’m optimistic. It all seems like it will work out.

Marriage limbo has transitioned to roommate limbo. I’ve had worse roommates.

The whole it’s complicated situation makes it impossible to date, but on the good side I spend every single day with my Serenity, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to give that up. Only half the week with my baby seems like a horrible situation. I’m sure it will all work out eventually.

I’ll be okay not being a part of a couple. Like anything, it has pluses and minuses. I’ll have to do everything myself, but I’ll only have to worry about taking care of myself and Renny. It just doesn’t seem feasible in my current situation. Don’t get me wrong I still look 👀 The desire is there, but memories of what the downside is haven’t faded yet.

I’ve had two false starts, but I wasn’t ready, emotionally or medically (stay away from Lexapro). It might happen for me again, though now fully functional, I’m just not ready.

I have a lot of work to do to get back to me. I have to paint the house, tile the floor, and get ready for the next thirty years. Until then I will enjoy being a dad, work smart, and play more games.